Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't
 prepard for the answer.

 In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
 witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

 He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded,
 "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams.

 I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
 disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
 people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot
 when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything
 more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.

 "The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
 room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?" She again
 replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr.Bradley since he was a youngster,
 too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a
 normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in
 the entire state. Not to mention He cheated on his wife with three different
 women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

 The defence attorney almost died.

 The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in very quiet
 voice, said, "If either of you fucking idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll
 send you both to the electric chair."

Från Lunarsidan Majsan36