There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long

time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true

story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a

recording monitoring the customer care department.. Needless to say the

Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word

Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a

former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record

these conversations!):

Operator:         "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller:              "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator:         "What sort of trouble??"

Caller:              "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden

the words went away."

Operator:         "Went away?"

Caller:              "They disappeared."

Operator:         "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller:              "Nothing."

Operator:         "Nothing??"

Caller:              "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator:         "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller:              "How do I tell?"

Operator:         "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller:              "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator:         "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller:              "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept

anything I type."

Operator:         "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller:              "What's a monitor?"

Operator:         "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a

TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's  on??"

Caller:               "I don't know."

Operator:         "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find

where the power cord goes  into it. Can you see that??"

Caller:              "Yes, I think so."

Operator:         "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

plugged into the wall.   Caller:              "Yes, it is."

Operator:         "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"

Caller:              "No."

Operator:         "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

find the other cable."

Caller:              "Okay, here it is."

Operator:         "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely

into the back of your computer."

Caller:               "I can't reach."

Operator:         "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller:               "No."

Operator:         "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean

way over??"

Caller:               "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -

it's because it's dark."

Operator:         "Dark??"

Caller:               "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I

have is coming in from the window.

Operator:         "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller:               "I can't."

Operator:         "No? Why not??"

Caller:               "Because there's a power failure."

Operator:         "A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got

it licked now.  Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff

your computer came in??"

Caller:               "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator:         "Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it

up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you

bought it from."

Caller:               "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator:         "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller:               "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell

them??"

Operator:         "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a

computer!!!!!"